What They Thought
by link no miko
Summary: First impressions are, as a general rule, rather important. Except when they're not.


**What They Thought**

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This was written over a month ago while visiting a friend (the same time I wrote _Desinere_, actually). We challenged each other to write an interview dealing with first impressions. At first it was just the Sanzo Team, but then somehow Kougaiji's group found their way in here. I'm not complaining.

Not meant to be serious at all, and while I might find this humorous, I can't guarantee anyone else will.

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Hello and welcome! Today we're here to interview those who are closest to the Sanzo Team and find out what their first impressions were! Before me is Lord Kougaiji, only son of Gyuumaou and Rasetsunyo. Yes, Lord Kougaiji, what was your first impression of the Sanzo Team?

"Well, they were pissing me off and beating on the girl I lo—uh, on my subordinate."

Aww, isn't that cute? He's blushing!

"Do you _mind_?"

Oh, right. Yes, well, so you'd say you disliked them?

"No, I respected them."

Right. Ok, next up, Mr. Dokugakuji! What was your first impression of the Sanzo Team?

"My first impression? Hmm… 'The hell'd Gojyo do to himself? I leave him alone for a few years and now he looks like a gigolo with bad pants.'"

Ah… Uh, and is it true that Mr. Gojyo is your little brother?

"Yes."

Is it _also_ true you screwed your mother?

"…"

Right! Moving on. Here we have Miss Lirin, Lord Kougaiji's little sister…who is currently not here. The hell'd she go?

"Aaahhh! My foot! Dammit, you little bitch!"

Ahh, uh… Hm. That was our production manager. Please excuse me.

_PLEASE WAIT A MOMENT_

Ok, and we're back. So sorry, folks. Alright, next up we have Miss Yaone. Miss, what was your initial impression of the Sanzo Team?

"Well…I didn't want to like them, because they are enemies of Lord Kougaiji. But…I can't say they are terrible people. So I guess my first impression was that I was confused."

Mm…ok, that was suitably lame. Thank you but not, Miss Yao—right, ok. Heh, did I say lame? Why, Lord Kougaiji, she could be anything _but_. Miss Yaone, that was simply stunning, thank you for your insight.

But now I'm afraid we must turn to our other guests, the Sanzo Team themselves! So, why not start with the leader of the group himself, Priest Genjyo Sanzo. Lord Sanzo, what was your initial impression of the rest of your team?

"Die."

I'm sorry, but is that your reaction or is that a response to me—oh, I see. Please, let's not get hasty, there's no need for any gun pointing. Please put the gun _away_, Lord Sanzo.

And, uh…ah. Let's turn to the next member of the group, Son Goku. Mr. Goku, what was your first impression of your teammates?

"I'm hungry, Sanzo! I'm hungry!"

Uh, right. Next. Mr. Cho Hakkai! You're known as the calm and collected member of the team. What were your first impressions?

"My, my. They are a difficult bunch, aren't they?"

Why yes, yes they are, Mr. Hakkai. Do you have anything else to share with us? Something, I don't know, a bit more exciting? Something for the viewers to enjoy?

"Ah, Hakuryuu, please get away from there. Goku and Miss Lirin are hungry."

…Ok! Mr. Sha Gojyo, the so-called womanizer of the group. How, uh, how did you first react to your teammates?

"Are you a chick?"

Why, uh, no, Mr. Gojyo. That's a rather, uh, odd question.

"You got some smokes?"

Uh…no. There's no smoking allowed in the studio. …Mr. Gojyo? Mr. Gojyo, you can't do that, it's not allowed! Ah, Lord Sanzo, you too? Please, there's electrical equipment everywhere, if you shoot— Ah! Look out! Wait, no, please don't—

_PLEASE WAIT A MOMENT_

Ah, uh… Thank you for watching tonight's installment of our show. Please, uh, tune in next time for our program "Women, Breasts, and How Can She Stand Up?" with special guest star Miss Yaone. And—Lord Kougaiji! Uh, heh, I thought you left already—oh, oh, I see. Yes, well, uh—No, no, I wasn't being serious. Of course not. No. No, definitely not. Truly. …Yes. Yes, thank you. Yes, I realize how fragile my human body is. …No. …Yes, yes I see. Thank you for your generosity. No, I won't do it again. …Goodbye.

And that's a rap! …Hiroki! Turn the camera off! Yes, now! _Now, dammit!_ Turn the goddamned thing off before I—


End file.
